


Blessing or a Curse?

by btwkris



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, Comic Carol Peletier, Comic Sophia Peletier, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Mary Sue Character basically lol, More tags to be added, Multi, People Live, Slight Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Sort Of, Violence, immortal au, self indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 10:44:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14447628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/btwkris/pseuds/btwkris
Summary: Sydney Collins is 'blessed' with a gift of never dying, waking up time and time again after accident after accident. When the apocalypse hits, he finds him in the company of a little girl who is lost from her group. What else could he do but help her?





	Blessing or a Curse?

Sydney just liked to read books. It wasn’t like he spent all of his time in the library or buying new books, but whenever he had the free time, he liked to cuddle up on the couch and just read a book. Any genre, mostly, whatever he could get his hands on. Though, he could get his hands on a lot more when he was actually in a library. It was nice. Untouched by the outside world, what it held. If you just sat in here and read, hours on end, you would never know what was happening. He had been held up here for a couple weeks now, never really leaving until he had to, of course, he would have to, just not yet. He was enjoying it, but reality would kick in at some point. 

He had been living on the outskirts of Atlanta when everything had went down, his uncle's house, and hadn’t even known that everyone was trying to leave until his uncle came bustling home from work three hours early and rambled about how they had to leave. His uncle had this huge bite mark covering his inner forearm, saying how someone at work had attacked him and his coworkers had to pull him off. So, he packed his bags (bag, actually) and they left. Of course, that was what everyone else had been trying to do.

They didn’t make it very far.

Jammed for miles and miles, one thing lead to another and his uncle was snarling and growling- trying to eat his face off. He had screamed at him, pushed him off, struggling to no avail to get through to him. Begged him to stop. Nothing had worked, so he did the only thing he could, he ran. More like he fell out of the car, only with his bag on his back, and got the hell out of there.

Then, a long walk and four dead walkers later, he found the library. 

Now, he was here. In said library. 

Sydney was rudely awakened from his sleep by the sharp sounds of doors slamming, and voices. He shot up, blinking the sleep from his eyes and fumbling poorly in the back room, sitting up from his makeshift bed. The voices and noises increased, closer, and his brain finally seemed to understand that he was in trouble. He moved quickly, his brown curly hair sticking to his face from sweat, the only downside to the library. 

Picking up his bag, he slung it over his shoulder, struggling to grab his knife off of the floor. Fuck. Fuck. Walkers don’t talk. And walkers don't open doors, usually anyways. His sock feet on the floor, he crouched and leaned closer to the door, trying to hear what was going on the other side. Sydney could still hear the voices, men definitely, but he still couldn’t make out what they were saying- but he couldn’t stay here. His heart thumped in his chest as he twisted the doorknob, pushing it open slowly and looking through the crack. He couldn’t see much, books scattered on the floor that hadn’t previously been there, clearly something done by his new visitors. The back of three men could be made out, but there could be more, who knows.

Taking the chance to move out, he opened the door carefully and as quietly as he could, slipping out and shutting it behind him just as he did opening it. Sydney ducked behind a shelf, before he could give any of them a chance to turn around and spot him. He definitely hadn’t missed the guns and supplies they were sporting, something he lacked- and they didn’t look too friendly. He wasn’t stupid. All he wanted to do was get out of here, and far away from anybody else. 

What were they even doing in here? There wasn’t really anything to take, and they didn’t seem like the reading type. Just looking for a place to trash? He didn’t know. 

He didn’t care.

Moving along the floor, he kept behind the bookshelf, trying his best to keep himself quiet. Sydney knew this place like the back of his hand, having spent enough time in here alone to scour it over and over again. The front entrance seemed to risky, with the men lingering near it, and the push door wouldn’t be stealthy either- he could go out the back way. With one swift look back at the men, he picked up his pace a little and went for the back exit, which was just down a corridor and to the left.

No way he was sticking around. 

He pushed away his nerves and kept going, turning left and spotting the dull ‘exit’ sign, just what he needed. With a small glance behind him, he pushed open the door as quietly as it would go, stepping out into the sun. It blinded him for a moment, beating down over his body, and he turned his head slightly to avoid it.

And made direct eye contact with a man, just like the other ones that had been back inside.

Shit.

The even worse thing? He noticed Sydney two seconds early, and had his gun trained on him, the sound of the safety clicking off making his heart sink.

“Wait, wait, hold on a minute- Please, we-”

He didn’t even get to finish before the bullet blew threw his chest and into his heart. 

_ A little boy with a mop of brown hair stumbled through a grocery store, his tiny little legs not taking him very far. He couldn’t have been more than five or six, having turned away from his mother the moment she had taken his eyes off of her. He tended to do that. He loved to play hide and go seek with his mother, or just wander off, finding it hilariously funny. His parents didn’t exactly think the same though. The boy practically knew where the toy aisle was, they were at their regular grocery store, and he always seemed to trick his mother into buying him a new toy every time they came here. Maybe that’s why she started taking him less, but he didn’t really know the difference. _

_ Aisle seventeen. His green eyes shine as he looks over the shelves, for something that would eventually catch his eye, something he would want.  _

_ There wasn’t much time though, because his mother, in all her glory, came swooping down the aisle with the cart, a look of relief washing over her face when she spotted him. Of course, she would know exactly where to find him. “What have I told you about doing that, Sydney? You had mama worried.” She frowned at him, picking him up in her arms, letting out a soft breath. His mother was only small, and she didn’t carry him as long as she used to- no matter how much he prodded her too. _

_ “Sorry mama.” _

His ears were ringing when he came too, his body aching and momentarily forgetting exactly where he was or what was going on. He grasped at his chest, clawing desperately for a moment, feeling the hole in his shirt where the bullet had gone straight through. Thankfully. 

Fuck. 

He glanced around quickly, which made his vision blur for a moment, but it didn’t take long for him to realize that his knife and his bag was missing. Of course, why wouldn’t they take it? Now, he was outside alone, with only the clothes on his back, even with no shoes. Sydney sat up finally, wondering how long he had been out this time- it couldn’t have been too long, the sun was still high in the sky but he didn’t know. No watch. No way to tell the time, just knew it was day when the sun was up and night when it went down.

Still in the place that he had been shot down, he struggled to stand up, stumbling to his feet and rubbing at his chest slightly. It didn’t seem that anyone was currently around, but he didn’t want to risk the chance- he had to get out of here, and out of here quick. 

Not really sure of where he was going and still a little out of it, he started to walk, not really having a destination. Just walked.

Wasn’t really sure for how long exactly, but his feet ached, his no shoes problem becoming much larger as he went. His throat was dry and scratchy, thankful he actually had no one to talk to for once, surely it would hurt. Thankfully, there wasn’t many walkers around, he didn’t have much to defend himself with if he had stumbled upon one. A sharp stick, that he had found and used a rock to make the end pointy. Pathetic, really, but it was better than stumbling around completely vulnerable. 

All he could see was green, for miles and miles to come, that was all. When had the forest even started? When had he entered it? He didn’t really know, he only stopped when it became dark, but he barely slept. The dark scared him, almost as much as the walkers did, which was saying something.  

A branch snapped in the distance. 

He froze completely, body tensing up in its entirety as his ears strained to pick up any other sounds. Nothing. The male waited another couple of minutes as he scanned his surroundings, before he just decided to keep moving. There wasn’t anything he could do about it, if he didn’t see anything, his only option was to push forward. The day kept moving forward, as did he, the green trees the only thing for him to look at, wondering if the forest really did end. 

Several hours later, or something, the sun was beginning to set again, and he was still in the same position he had been the day before, and the day before that one.

Until another branch snapped. 

Sydney whipped around so fast that his vision blurred, but it worked out in the end because he caught sight of brown hair and a blue shirt. A small body was in said blue shirt.

“Hey! Who is that?” His voice cracked and burned when he spoke, and he swallowed the spit gathering in his mouth to try and sooth it. “I know someone is out there. Have you been following me?” No response.

“I won't hurt you, come out.” Surprisingly, that seemed to do the trick because a moment later there was the sound of rustling leaves and twigs, and a young girl stepped out behind a tree. She couldn’t have been any other than twelve or thirteen either, dressed in short pants and a blue t-shirt with a rainbow on it. She had medium short brown hair that was tucked back with a headband, and her face was a mess of dirt and grime- and she looked terrified. 

He swallowed again, “Are you okay? Where is your group?” Obviously she had to have one, no way she made it this far on her own, and especially without a weapon.

Ironic, he was the one saying that. 

For a few moments, all you could hear was his own quiet breathing and the sounds of nature in the forest. Until, “I’m Sophia.” The girl spoke softly, wringing her hands nervously as she watched him, eyes filled with fear and sadness. He had no clue how to deal with that, he was still struggling to keep his eyes open and of course he just had to stumble upon a little girl, possibly lost in the forest and separate from her group. Who had let her wander off anyways? He was already curious, and concerned, wondering if her group was even alive right now. 

He realized she was waiting for him to say anything and he blinked hazily, squinting at her, “Name’s Sydney. Where is your group at? Are you lost?” His eyes darted around, looking for any possible threat, shoulders tense. 

“There was- was a bunch of those things, they showed up and we had to hide. They came after me so I ran off, Mr Grimes tried to help me but I got lost. I don’t know where they are.” Her bottom lip quivered, and he briefly wondered how many people she was with. Or where they went. He knew that he couldn’t just leave her out here, that would be cruel, he just couldn’t. Couldn’t let himself live if he just walked away, and left her.

Curse his conscience. 

“I can try and help, if you want. I could use the company.” His head was pounding and everything aches, but he was almost kind of numb to it now. Like it was something he was getting used to.

“Okay.”

He waited for her to move towards him, so she could join him in step as they walked, slowing down slightly so they could walk in sync. It was obvious that there was no plan on where they would go, but it would be better to be together then to be alone. Sydney observed her quietly, glancing at her every few minutes for no reason in particular, finally noticing that she had a doll clutched in her hands as well. How had he not noticed that before? It was a rag doll, with red hair that were pulled into braids, with a pink patterned dress stitched onto it. It was nice. “Where did you get the doll from?” He asked her, his voice was light, just loud enough so she could hear him, not wanting to attract any more attention that he had to.

Sophia seemed to pause at this question, and he noticed her hesitation, but before he could bring it up she answered. “It was my friend Eliza’s. She gave it to me when we left. We were at this camp and it got, attacked, so we had to leave. She gave me it as a reminder.” She rambled, and he let her. 

“Yeah? Where did you? Go, that is.”

Clearly, she wasn’t really concerned that she hadn’t known him for that long, he wasn’t one to rain on her parade. Sydney was just glad that he was the one to stumble upon her, and not someone who was less caring, or a walker who could’ve found her.

“First we went to this place called the CDC and met this guy named Dr Jenner, and there was hot water and food and stuff. He talked about how he tried to study those things, and couldn’t find a cure. Then he put the building on self destruct mode and we had to convince him to let us out. It was really scary.” She paused to take a breath, never stopping, and Sydney just listened as the words poured from her mouth, “We had to leave someone behind. But then we were driving on a highway and our RV broke down, so we had to stop. That’s when a bunch of those things came out and I got lost. I don’t know how to get back.”

The CDC? Sophia’s group had been to the CDC?

“What happened to the CDC?” She had said self destruct mode, but he wasn’t really clear on what that meant.

She falters.

“It blew up.”

Ah. It seems like Dr Jenner had given up, and one of Sophia’s group members had chose to stay behind. That’s what Sydney was taking from it anyways, his brain trying to absorb all this information. He had heard about the CDC, a couple weeks back, but hadn’t really thought anything of it. Well, now he knows. “Sorry that happened. It’s good you’re still here.” Was it really? He shakes away the thoughts as quick as they come, not ready for a mental crisis.

“Yeah. I just really miss my mom.” 

It felt like a punch to the gut, a rough one too, and he sucks in a breath. “I’m sure we can find your group, and your mom.” He doesn’t know if he believes it himself. 

“You really think?”

“Yep.”

It was mostly silence for the rest of the time they walked, taking turns here and there in hopes of finding the resemblances of something different. Eventually, when it was almost too dark to see, they walked out into a clearing. It was hard to tell exactly what they were seeing, but there was a house, in the middle of nowhere. It looked empty, from what he could tell, but then again, that would be the smart thing to do.

Sydney thought about walking right past it, but he could see Sophia in the dark shivering so he took in a small breath, “Come on, stay behind me.” He stepped towards the house, his feet pulsing as he moved. His socks were almost worn through by now, the lack of shoes really catching up to him, but there wasn’t really anything he could do about it. Except push through the pain.  He gripped the stick in his hand, felt the roughness dig into his palm as he moved towards the house, but ignored it.

Sophia followed behind him, and he walked up the steps, creaking under his weight and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was hiding. He pushed on the door. It opened. Clearly, no one alive was inside, or the door wouldn’t be opened. “Stay back, okay? I’ll check it out.” He whispered, pushing open the door and stepping inside. There was a long hallway ahead of him, but he couldn’t see the end of it, but he assumed it lead to the kitchen. A staircase off to his right. A room, to his left. The only light was the bright moon shining in, and that didn’t really help much. He slapped his hand against the closest wall, hitting it a couple times and hard enough that it could be heard throughout the room.

“Wait! What are you doing?” The little girl sounded terrified the moment he started making noise, but he just shushed her. 

After another moment of silence, he gestured for her to come in, “If anything was here we would have heard them by now.” It was a simple tactic he had learned of off the bat, when he had realized that the dead were attracted to sound. It were simple things like that, that would someday save your life. 

“We’ll stay here for the night, okay? Then we can get a fresh start in the morning. Come on.” Sydney closed the door behind them once they were both in, lightly grabbing her arm so he could pull her into the supposed living room. 

The house was old and creaky, and the windows were boarded up, which made him simply wonder why the door had been unlocked. Whoever had been here was long gone. 

Dead or not, it didn’t matter.

He shuffled into the room and released her, scanning what he could of the room, before spotting a door off to the side. A closet? It was worth the check. “One second.” He moved towards it, rapping his knuckles on the wood, before opening it a second later. Dust flew as he opened it, just showing how neglected it was. Inside the closet, there was a couple small blankets tucked on one of the shelves, along with a small pillow. They were covered in dust he would guess, but it was better than being cold. “Here, take these.” He pulls out the pillow and blankets, blinking away the dust that floated into his eyes, handing them off to Sophia. 

Sydney felt along the shelves, to see if he could find anything else, seeing as he couldn’t see if there was anything else in the dark. His hands hit an object, and he grasped it, and he could tell it was a can. He pulled it out and felt the top, feeling the pull off, which he was thankful for seeing as he didn’t have anything to cut the can open with. The male squinted in the dark to see what it was, barely making out the word ‘tuna’, before he let out a soft sigh. It would have to do.

He turned back to Sophia, who had unfolded the blankets and set them up in a corner, moving like she was a walker herself. “Hey, I never asked, how long have you been lost?” He closed the closet door quietly, creeping over to where the other was.

“A couple days? I’m- I’m not really sure.” She probably hadn’t had anything to eat or drink either, from the looks of it, and he is not well equipped to take care of kids. Of any sorts. Finding her people was the best thing they could do, to give her a chance. At the least.

“We’ll find them.” Sydney tells her, holding out the can to her, “It’s not much, some sort of Tuna, but it will help if you’re hungry.” She took it.

“Aren’t you hungry?” He could feel his stomach eating at himself, and he’s surprised his stomach didn’t growl like a bear right then and there, but it didn’t. Of course he was hungry, he was starving. But he wasn't selfish. Sydney wouldn’t let her go hungry. “No, I’m okay. I swear.” Reluctantly, she took it. Good. He waited for her to get settled before he followed, sitting down against the wall that she was also leaning against.  She had laid the blankets out on the floor, something to lay on, and was using the other two to actually use. She placed one over his legs, and he let his head fall back against the wall, his sharpened stick laying beside him.

Now that he was sitting down, his whole body just felt like jelly and all he wanted to do was melt into the floor. Everywhere on his body just positively burned, and his body was screaming at him to just stop, just stop for one minute. He was so past the point of being tired he didn’t even feel the need to sleep anymore, which was even worse, his body telling him to stop but he just couldn’t. Not now. 

Sydney was pulled from his thoughts when he heard the sound of metal on metal, his shoulders jumping as he turned his head to look at Sophia, who had her knees pulled up to her chest, and was pulling open the tuna can. He relaxed when he realized there wasn’t actually a threat, but watched as the girl pulled off the top enough to reveal the tuna, and as she sniffed it she made a face.

He couldn’t help the small chuckle that rumbled his chest, “Better than nothing, right?” Sophia just nodded in response, biting down on her lip. In the apocalypse, you couldn’t be picky with food. But he still hated onions, and if someone offered him onions right now he’s sure he would turn his nose up as well. It was instinct. He could see her struggling with how she was supposed to eat it, and he held off another small laugh, “Just use your fingers. I know it’s gross, but it’s all you’ve got.” Honestly, if someone had told him to eat with his fingers something like that, he would have internally gagged.

Those luxuries were in the past.

The next few moments were spent in silence once again, almost comfortable, as Sophia ate, and he rested his eyes. It was nice. Just be around another person, he had missed it. She was only a little girl but it made him feel a little saner, like he wasn’t going crazy. Being left alone with your thoughts is sometimes the worst thing you could possibly do for a person. Personally, he hated it, hated being alone, occasionally he would like his space, like to just be alone. Not often though, and he hates it even more now. Hates being stuck in his head, and no one to talk to. Of course, him and Sophia weren’t spilling their guts out to each other or anything, hell, he didn’t even know her, but it helped.

Eventually, after she had almost inhaled all of the tuna and was now rubbing her hands off on her pants to clean them, he spoke up, “You should get some sleep, okay? We can head out when it’s like.” His own eyes drooped at the thought of sleep, and he’s sure he could maybe catch some as well. “I’ll keep you safe. Nothing will get us in here.” Was it partly a lie? Maybe, but she didn’t need to know that. He didn’t debate on it too long because she didn’t argue with him, situating herself so she was curled up on the floor with the blanket around her, the floor was probably still cold and the blanket only helped a little, but it was better than nothing. Anything was better than nothing. 

Not a moment later, he could hear her breathing slow, and he couldn’t see her eyes but he knew that they were closed. She must have been exhausted. Sydney rubbed a hand over his face, scratching at the dirt that covered it, but not really helping it much. He probably looked like shit, his hair tangled in knots, stuck to his forehead from sweat, not to mention the dirt that just clung to his skin like it owned the place. He had been only dressed in a pair of sweats and a light grey shirt when he was chased out of the library, so that was what he was dressed in now. Not to mention the pair of white socks that were partly grey now, and torn.

Better than nothing. 

Sydney let out a sigh and shifted, so he could lay down, pulling the blanket over him, it didn’t cover him much but it helped. Slightly. He closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would come. A minute past. Two minutes. Three. Despite feeling as though he was at ease, he felt anything but, his chest was heavy with something he didn’t know. He opened his eyes, staring into the darkness, past the threshold of the living room opening until he couldn’t make out the shape of anything. Another breath.

He didn’t sleep at all. 

About a couple hours later, the sun actually started to rise, and he opened his eyes. No, not from sleep, he had been simply resting them for a moment. His back and legs ached from his position on the floor, and as he sat up his back gave a painful crack. Ouch. His shifting must have woken Sophia, because she let out a soft groan and started to move as well. Good, they should move soon anyways.

He pulled the blanket off his legs and set it aside, letting his body wake up more than anything, before he grabbed the sharpened stick and stood up, his body protesting with him as he did. Nothing to do about it. Sydney waited for Sophia to fully wake up as he leaned against the wall, feeling slightly lightheaded. “Are you ready to get moving?” He questioned, not really giving her a chance to really wake up, but he didn’t want to stay in this house any longer than they had to. There was nothing for them here.

“Mhm.” She rubbed at her eyes, picking up her stuffed doll from the ground, pulling herself up off the ground.

Sydney waited for her, before he started to walk towards the door, slowly pulling it open, squinting as the sunlight immediately hit him. Another hot day. That’s what it usually was like in Georgia, if that’s where they still were. He assumed so, he didn’t walk that far. 

He paused when he was out on the step, he couldn’t really see anything over the mountains of trees, nothing at all. No indicator of where they were at, nowhere he could see that could be something of usefulness. He didn’t even know which way would be the highway, or to where Sophia’s group would be. It was a shot in the dark, completely, to where they would end up. Just hoped they would get somewhere relatively safe soon or risk actually dying. Walkers or not. 

Another minute to look around, before he finally picked a direction to head in. 

“Let’s go this way, okay? It looks slightly different. The forest has to end at some point.”

The heat was beating down on his back as they walked, stick gripped roughly in his hand, as they moved quietly, but less swiftly than the day before. Sydney was even more tired than he had been yesterday, lack of sleep slowing him down, dehydration and lack of food. It was slowly killing him. 

What would happen if he died? Again?

What would Sophia do? Would she run and leave him, or stay by him even though he could turn into one of those things. To her, anyways, that’s what could happen. He knows that won’t happen, but nobody else does. 

He shook away the thoughts, continuing to walk, his feet dragging on the ground. Sophia would look at him every so often, and it seemed as though she had something to say, but then she wouldn’t and they would keep going. His foot caught on a branch and stumbled, and he saw the ground coming faster and faster until he actually hit it.

A soft gasp from Sophia. 

Sydney groaned in pain, feeling a twig digging deep into his cheek as he attempted to catch his bearings again. He fumbled on the ground unknowingly, hand grasping for the stick that he couldn’t find anymore, struggling. A hand on his arm spooked him, and he blinked as the little girl tugged at his arm slightly, trying to help him up. He went with her willingly, the world spinning around him as he attempted to orientate himself. More difficult then it sounded. 

“There is a clearing up ahead, I think, Sydney.” The soft voice spoke, which he barely recognized as Sophia’s, and how they were moving. He just moved. Walked with her, as she held his arm.

Black dots grazed his vision, and he was unaware of how unsteady he actually was, or how Sophia was now leading them. Was that a house? A big house? He could see a big blob of white, and people? Were those people?

They were still moving, towards the people? What was Sophia doing? He was confused.

Sophia’s hand dropped.

“Sophia? Sophia? Is that-”

“Sophia!”

Who was calling for her? Had they found her people?

Sydney couldn’t think anymore, because the blackness took over his vision and the world tilted until he hit the ground.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a story, and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. I am not the greatest writer, and if there is anything I can fix, please tell me! This is mostly a self indulgent AU that I got the idea for, so it might be a little over the top.


End file.
